Fourteen Most Interestingly Named Places Along This Route

Countdown - 161 days

As I pore over online maps for this trip and generally familiarize myself with the route (at least the route as it stands today), I have run across some names for different places that are intriguing to me.

I recently read a book called "A Place Called Peculiar" by Frank Gallant (buy it here) and it was interesting because it's fun to see that some towns have been named something unusual simply for the wonderment of it all, and to attract tourists.

It got me to thinking about the unusual names that I'll be seeing. Not only towns but features as well. So I'll share with you the ones that I've see so far, purely by going over the maps....

Sleepy Hollow, Illinois - I don't really expect to see any headless horseman coming at me, but I will be looking for Ichabod Crane Lane, if there is one. Wouldn't that be a picture?

Little Canada, Minnesota - Do you suppose there are little neighborhoods called "Alberta", "Ontario" or "Newfoundland"? Yeah, me neither, but I'll bet that since this is still relatively close to 'Big Canada' (the real country) they still have a lot of "eh's" going on. I'll let you know what it's all 'aboot'. Sorry about that. (And even in the apology it's another slam, because you know how polite Canadiens are, apologizing all the time....I crack myself up!)

Medina, North Dakota - Do you suppose it's funky and cold there? You think this is the hometown of Tone Loc? Yeah, me neither.

Double Ditch Indian Village, North Dakota - Not far from Medina, you come across this place. I'm supposing that it truly is an Indian Village, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it was no longer related to Natives any longer.

Sipple & Straw, Montana - These two towns are about 6 miles apart. I just thought it was funny to see a town named "Sipple" because immediately I think "nipple" which just proves that my brain never matured properly and I'm forever a 12-year old. And Straw just makes me wonder if that 's simply related to the fact this is in the plains area of Montana.

Big Arm, Montana - Seriously? Is there some huge statue (carved in wood, of course) of some massive bicep? Gotta have a picture of a sign for Big Arm, sporting my own 'guns' of course.

Eureka, Montana - My buddy Myles is from here. I've always wanted to visit so that I can say things like he did. For example:

"Where you from?"

"Eureka"

"Eureka?"

" You don't smell so good yourself!"

Opportunity, Washington - Near Spokane, this area just exudes confidence and optimism. Perhaps this was simply to attract new settlers, but Green Acres, Washington (without Eddie Arnold or Eva Gabor) is nearby.

Eureka, Washington - Just to see how it compares to the Montana version. I fully expect to see some sort of monument in one of these towns to Archimedes. That or at least some sort of flood control. Maybe a huge bathtub?

Chilliwack, British Columbia - I must admit that I've heard of this place before. I used to really love this rock band called "Headpins" which was led by a guy who was from here (or at least was in another band called Chilliwack). Still, the name is too funny, so I gotta go there and see what that's all about.

One Hundred Mile House, British Columbia - I'm sure there's a logical explanation for the name of this place, but I don't wanna spoil it. I think this is one of my scheduled fuel stops and that will give me the opportunity to discover from a local why it is named the way it is. My suspicions: It's about 100 miles from Kamloops, BC. But I could be very wrong, and probably am.

Smithers, British Columbia - Don't you expect to see a statue of the Simpsons' character here? Well, you shouldn't. This was around long before Bart took to the airwaves.

Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan - Just the name makes me smile. Darned Canadiens and their literal sense of humor.

Regina, Saskatchewan - They pronounce it "Rah-Jinah" (long I sound). See my comments about Sipple above. Twelve-year-old brain kicked in again.

Wasn't that fun? Well it was for me anyway.

Son of Still Speaking Through Song

Countdown - 164 Days

Okay, so we're continuing our list of songs that about are about or at least mention the states that I'll be traveling through on this trip. At first I thought this wouldn't be so hard since there's gotta be thousands of songs that mention states and cities and such, right?

Well, I've done Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota and Montana. Now it's on to Idaho, Washington, British Columbia (that's Canada just so ya know) and then back through the states again.

Idaho -

• Private Idaho, B52's (You're livin' in your own private Idaho)
• Danny Says, Ramones (Danny says we gotta go, we gotta go to Idaho)
• I Miss You, Randy Newman (You must be laughing yourself sick up there in Idaho)
• What's Your Name?, Lynryd Skynyrd (It's 8 o'clock in Boise, Idaho)

Washington -

• Ballad of Donald White, Bob Dylan (I landed in the old northwest, Seattle, Washington)
• Jet City Woman, Queensryche (it's about Seattle)
• The Mud Shark, Frank Zappa (A nice little dance thing called the Mud Shark, now this dance started up in Seattle)
• Sick of Seattle, The Smithereens

British Columbia -

• Blame Canada, South Park - Okay, I'm just kidding. I think I'll save the Canadian songs for a different post. Maybe I'll list the best Canadian bands and performers.

Iowa -

(Don't worry, I'll explain how you get from British Columbia to Fort Dodge, Iowa when I write about the route the next time). Let's just say....North Dakota songs? Been there, done that.

• Turn the Page, Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band (On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha).

Well, that's about all I could find. Anybody else notice all the Zappa I found? Moooooaaaahhhhh! This is gonna be one very entertaining ride!

Still Speaking Through Song

Countdown - 165 days

Here we go with the next installment of songs about the places I'll be traveling on this trip. This time it's Minnesota, North Dakota, and Montana.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read the previous post. I suppose since we're getting farther west and the population thins out, that means there's less to sing about....which is why I can only think of these songs:

Minnesota -

• Uptown, Prince (She saw me walking down the streets of your fine city)
• 9th & Hennepin, Tom Waits (And the broken umbrellas like dead birds, and the steam comes out of the grill)
• Skyway, The Replacements (You take the skyway, high above the busy little one-way.)
• Funkytown, Lipps, Inc (Won't you take me to, Funkytown?!)

North Dakota -

• North Dakota, Lyle Lovett (The boys from North Dakota, they drink whiskey for their fun.)
• That's all I got. Apparently there's not much to sing about in ND.

Montana -

• Montana, Frank Zappa (Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.)
• Montana Cafe, Hank Williams, Jr. (Montana cafe, we're a little bit out of the way)

This is kinda fun. But I think it's really kinda odd that there's already two Zappa songs on the list. That's a sign of something great!

Speaking through song

Countdown - 166 Days

Ya know, I said I wouldn't do this, but I think I will after all. Long ago, my good friend Stacy suggested that I combine a couple of my loves, music and motorcycling, and write about the songs that are relative to where I will be traveling. Seemed like a cool idea at the time, but I had almost forgotten all about it.
Surprise! My brain cells kicked in and I 'amembered'.

I'll probably put together a playlist of songs for the Ipod to listen to while I'm making this trip. Let's start with where I'll start and get through the first couple of states:

Indiana -

• Indiana Wants Me -R Dean Taylor (Indiana wants me, Lord I can't go back there) But of course, I hope to!
• Going Back to Indiana -Jackson 5 (I'm Going back to Indiana, back to where my baby's from) Okay so the second one contradicts the first, but it's actually a much better song.
• Up in Indiana - Lyle Lovett (Up in Indiana where the tall corn grows, I do a little thinkin' about a girl named Rose). I can only stomach so much Lyle. But his wife Julia Roberts is hot.
• Small Town - John Mellencamp (I was born in a small town) Okay, so technically it's not precisely about Indiana, but does anyone really think it's about any other town than Bloomington or Seymour?

Illinois -

• The Illinois Enema Bandit - Frank Zappa (The Illinois Enema Bandit, I heard he's on the loose). Gotta love this song. Don Pardo does the introduction. Zappa was the true King.
• The Night Chicago Died - Paper Lace (daddy was a cop, on the east side of Chicago...) This song brings back some special memories for me. One hit wonder and great song to sing along to!

Wisconsin -

• Highway 51 Blues - Bob Dylan (Running from up Wisconsin way down to no man's land) Now we're talking about some seriously good music.
• Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot (and the Rheostatics) (The ship was the pride of the American side, coming back from some mill in Wisconsin). How appropriate! One of my favs of all time, and also done by a guy with a great name.
• Cadillac Ranch - Bruce Springsteen (drivin' alone through the Wisconsin night). Not a big Boss fan, but I'll suffer through this one.

Hey that's just the first three states. You got any suggestions? Comment below.

I still have a lot of places to go through: Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana, Idaho, Washington, British Columbia, and more. Put your thinking cap on!

Soundtrack to the Road

Countdown - 169 Days

Is there anyone who doesn't like music? I haven't found anyone yet. It's amazing to me how we can all love music, yet argue incessantly over what's 'good' and what's not, regarding musical genres or styles.

I have always had a more keen fascination than most when it came to music. I enjoy so many styles that I can't really pick one for a favorite.

I started out liking pop, AM radio music: Elton John, Brownsville Station, Three Dog Night, Alice Cooper, etc. Then, Heart, Kansas, Rush, Uriah Heep etc. Later it changed -passionately- to 80's hair metal: Scorpions, Vandenburg, Whitesnake, Quiet Riot, Van Halen. Then came the alternative years: Elvis Costello, Clash, Cars, Joe Jackson, Pretenders, and the more modern alternative: Verve Pipe, Brian Vander Ark, Jones Thing, Sorta, and Glenn Hughes (I'll call him 'throwback alternative' coz he's really back to that 80s metal hair band stuff).

Why do I bring this up? Easy. Travel is so much easier with music to accompany you. I just got an 'upgraded' Ipod that will triple the available tuneage that I will have at my disposal. That will mean I could *theoretically* boost my collection to 9,000 songs, all ready to blast in my earbuds as I travel down the road. I'm at 3,100 or so right now, and I can't remember exactly how long ITunes says it will take to listen to each song, but let's just say I won't even be able to hear everything on the Ipod right now, not to mention anything I add between now and departure day.

I'm not even going to attempt to try and give you an idea of what playlists I'm planning to put together for this trip. I don't even know that I will. All I know is that I will be draining my Ipod battery by jamming all day while motoring. And quite honestly, I can't wait until I have all those tunes right at my fingertips. You see, so many times I'll buy an album (yes, I'm so old I still call them 'albums') and I won't really have the chance to sit down and listen to it as closely as I'd like.

That will change when I've got a full day to put a soundtrack to the sights and smells I discover along the way. And that's really the way I look at it. Music is so powerful in that it can affect your mood, your emotion, your outlook and color your attitude. I often let the melodies in my ears become the soundtrack to the road. There's nothing like a nice rhythmic, acoustic and musky sweet sound of Brian Vander Ark and his lyrical story-telling as you cruise down a canopied tunnel of trees in northwestern Michigan. Hardly anything can compare to putting the hammer down on the Interstate while the Scorpions rock out to "Blackout" and you find yourself having to really watch your speed.

Before any safety freaks begin mentally forming their 'letter to the editor' about how unsafe it is to wear earbuds and operate a vehicle, let's chill. First off, wind noise, engine noise and loud pipes already cut down your ability to hear most anything on the road. The earbuds help protect ears from those loud road noises from damaging my already sketchy hearing. And years of riding have taught me to 'hear' using other senses. For example, you can 'feel' a car coming up from behind to pass you, because it pushes the wind over toward you before the car is even alongside. Normally the pitch of the wind will also change as it deflects off the other vehicle. But even not hearing that pitch change, you can feel it in the way it pushes your bike slightly away from the approaching vehicle. As long as you aren't blaring the tunes so loud that you cannot hear at least your own engine, you'll be golden.

Some folks think that anything other than road noise (or lack of it via earplugs) is the only true way to truly two-wheel it. I compare this argument to the same with mandatory helmets. In my not-so-humble opinion, I feel like each rider should make their own choice. If you want to enjoy the 'natural sounds' of the road, great. Just don't disparage my right to craft a soundtrack to go along with the fantastic visual images I'm experiencing.

Unless it's country music. Then somebody please put a bullet in my head, because that's a sure sign I've suffered a head injury somewhere along the road. (And to country fans reading: I don't apologize. Somebody has to stand up for the truth and proudly pull back the curtains of deception and show the world that this 'country music' is really nothing more than aural swill for the uninitiated.)

Okay, I just wanted your blood to boil for a minute. I kid. I'm a kidder!

What the hell is this post about?

Countdown - 170 days


Writer's block? (you've have to be an established writer though, right?)
Uncertainty about what the heck I should be writing about has me thoroughly frustrated and confused.

Some days I think I should write something super helpful, or insightful or something directly related to this trip and the mechanics of it. Other days, I think it should be really more personal and witty. I think I have some responsibility to incur a guffaw or at least a chuckle from you. After all, this thing should be fun, right?

But lately, most days have been a mixture of thinking about the mechanics/logistics of this trip, and wondering if the way I'm writing it is entertaining enough to keep folks interested. And I don't think my personal stories are really all that interesting. You gotta tell me that one, I'm not a mind reader.

So forgive me if I'm all over the place for awhile. Once I get a bit of steam built up, I get the feeling that it'll be easier. And quite honestly, as we get closer and things start getting more and more important, I'm sure this blog will lean more heavily toward the mechanics/logistics, but I'll be ready to sprinkle in some personal stuff too. Whether you like it or not!

Time to call in the reinforcements!

Countdown - 171 days

Can you feel it? It's really getting closer now. We're on the downside of 6 months. Seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the fact it was just a year away.

There's still a lot to do:

• Fundraising
• Sponsorships (Hotel and Fuel?)
• Bike conditioning (new tire install, etc)
• Marketing hype & social networking.

So, now it's time to call in all those favours that I'm owed, and incur a few more. So if you are one of the people I know that has a great special talent, like marketing expertise, html writing capability, mechanical prowess, or just the ability to generate donations or awareness: look out. I'll be calling on you for help. Be prepared, but don't disappear, I need you!

Let me just drop a few names of people who better ante up or come up with some great excuses: Stacy, Keith, Jim, Roger, Matt, Natalie, and many others.

Are epic bike trips just for the younguns?

Countdown - 173 days

So, lately it seems like just about every time I mention this trip to someone who doesn't know about it, they say something like, "seriously? at your age?" or something like that. The only thing harder than hearing that comment is finding someone who hasn't heard about the trip yet.



Is this just a trip for young people? Am I too old (I'm not even 50!) for this?

No way! In fact, I've got a few reasons why it's even BETTER for us graying types to be making this undertaking.



5. The more mellow you are, the more time you take to smell the roses. See, to us, it's not just the destination, it's the ride. We savour the sights and sounds along the way. We're not as obsessed with simply getting from one place to the next. We'll notice the things along the way. Call us multi-taskers if you will, but the fact is, those young punks miss a lot by keeping their focus on destination goal and not the real goal, which is the journey itself.


4. Patience. If there's one thing you have to have on long trips, it's patience. Traveling a long way in one day can make anyone get antsy to 'get there'. But those of us with experience will know how to pace ourselves. We'll get there feeling a lot less tired because we planned and prepped for a full day's riding. We didn't take off like a rabbit, only to come dragging in like a tortoise. We know enough to stop at a couple of beers at night, instead of 'celebrating a particularly good day' with a couple too many. The next day is a killer.

3. Wisdom. Because we've likely been around for a few more years than these punk kids, we probably have made the mistakes (a few times) that they are just making for the first time. That means that -hopefully- we've learned our lesson. And we know that just because you are in a groove and don't feel like stopping for fuel because you just stopped an hour ago, doesn't mean you don't stop. It means you check to see how far it is to the next available fuel stop and make your determination from there. Once you've pushed a bike to the next fuel stop, you NEVER want to do that again.

2. Mental Capacity/Diminished Mental Capacity. Either you got it or you don't. Again experience is a great teacher. But age can also be a great equalizer. Being wise enough to know your limitations is great, but sometimes oblivion will make you a lot happier. So here's to us old-timers who are either aged and wise, or aged and memory challenged. It's easier to explain why your went 75 miles out of the way by taking a wrong turn when you are old enough to say," gee, I just forgot what road I was looking for." People can understand and forgive that. When you say that at 22 years old, well, you just look stupid.

1. We find such majesty in the little things. We're like small children (and my wife would agree to that whole-heartedly). It doesn't take a whole lot to entertain us. A trip like this is something we check off of a bucket list, but young people can do that too. To those of us who are showing a little frost on the roof (or missing a few shingles), trips like this become a sense of purpose for us. Raison d'etre.

5 Ways to Stay Awake on a Long Distance Motorcycle Trip.

Countdown - 175 days

In keeping with yesterday's blog about how far 600 miles really is, I thought I would share some ideas that help me stay safe on long distance trips. Well, "safer" might be a better word.

No matter what type of travel you are doing (air, motorcycle, car, bus, train, etc.), 600 miles in one day is rigorous to say the least. Consider that these 600 miles days are coming back to back to back over about 11-12 days. That will just make you downright sleepy.

So what do you do to stay awake? Certainly, some folks reading this would find it hard to believe that anyone could fall asleep while driving a motorcycle. I'm here to tell you that while, yes, the simple act of being 'in the wind', is exhilarating, it can sometimes get a little boring too.

I know that seems like it couldn't be true! But as crazy as it seems, I've experienced this a few times. Riders in Kansas are testifying to this truth every day. So, what's a poor, hapless rider to do? How do you stay awake? I'll tell you the top 5 things that work for me.

5. Get as much sleep as you can when off the road.
This is tough for me, I have a hard time sleeping in hotels anyway. But you have to do all that you can. You can also power nap for 15-20 minutes at a rest area. Just lean up against a tree in the most secluded part of the rest area you can find. Your body will tell you how much rest you need. Surely, this isn't the best answer, because napping all day won't get you through 600 miles very easily. But if you start here, you're starting out ahead.

4. Sing.
I'm not a terrible singer, but there's a reason I am not up on stage with Elton John, Twisted Sister or John Mayer. However, it's pretty hard for your brain to lull itself into a comatose state when you are belting out the lyrics to "Final Countdown" by Europe. It just makes sense. They say your brain can't effectively multi-task the act of listening intently and talking at the same time. Perhaps the same is true of dropping off to sleep and singing at the same time. It works for me!

3. Count something.
Keep your brain engaged by picking out something that is common along your route and counting it. For example, telephone poles, mile markers or other vehicles on the road. Chances are as you get tired, you'll begin forgetting how many light poles you've already counted and you'll have to start over.

2. Keep moving.
This sounds goofy, but as long as you aren't moving so much that you are dangerous, move around in the saddle. Slouch down, sit up, scootch side-to-side or find something to fiddle with on your controls. That means checking your guages, turning on and off your extra accessories (like highway lights) or your Ipod. Stretch your arms and hands out above your head or off to the side of the bike (if you aren't skilled enough to ride no handed without cruise control, do this one arm at a time). Keep moving your eyes and your head. When it's misting a bit, I'll sometimes stick my face off to the side of my windshield and let the wind clear off my glasses or goggles. That works great at reviving you as well. Sure, you might look like a dog sticking it's head out the window, but it works.

1. Don't pee.
I saved my favorite for last. But it's also somewhat of a last resort. Let's be honest: When you have to pee it's pretty much all you can think about. Now, it's uncomfortable and can be messy, notably if you hold on just a little too long. Don't do that. Trust me. And I wouldn't recommend this for an all day thing, but if you start feeling drowsy, I'd suggest sucking down a bottle or three of water and getting back on the road. Within a few minutes of bouncing and lurching over our fantastically maintained roadways, you'll find your bladder screaming at you in no time. By the time you simply can't take it anymore and MUST stop, you'll be awake.
Wide.
Awake.

And then by the time you finally relieve yourself, you won't be thinking about anything else except how good you now feel. Plus, you can combine tips #1 and #2 by doing the pee pee dance in your motorcycle seat.

I'll bet you try this at least once, the next time you are driving or riding and get sleepy.

Just thinking out loud - how far is 600 miles a day?

Countdown - 176 days

As I figure out my planned daily mileage, I'm just putting things in perspective for my own brain.

This trip is about 6,500 miles. I don't remember exactly, but let's just say for example that I have to average 600 miles per day to stay on track.

How far is 600 miles?
600 miles is 1,056,000 yards.
600 miles is 3,168,000 feet.
6oo miles is 38,016,000 inches.
600 miles is also 965,606.4 meters.

At 65 miles per hour, and no stopping for gas or breaks at all, I could travel 600 miles in 9.23 hours, or about 9 hours and 15 minutes.

Since I have a tendency to need to pee and occasionally re-fuel, let's assume that I spend 2.5 hours a day eating lunch, stopping for fuel and rest breaks every day. That means that I will be traveling each day for about 11.75 hours or 11 hours and 45 minutes. So:

Get up at, say 5:30am, shower, pack bike, grab something to eat, get checked out of the hotel and make a phone call or two to 'check in', and get on the road by 7am.

So that means if I hit the road at 7am, travel for roughly 11 hours & 45 minutes, I should hit the 600 mile mark at around 6:45pm. Check in the hotel, grab something to eat, something to drink, and give the bike a once over. Then I relax a bit, talk to some locals, and spend an hour or so updating the blog and answering email. Off to bed around 11:30 or midnight, and do it all over again at 5:30am!

I get the feeling these are going to be some long days! I can't wait!

It's Official! It's the CCFA!

Countdown - 177 days


I've got 15 minutes left in the day so that I can keep up my streak of a blog post every day so far this year. But I'm wiped out, so this will be short.

I heard from the Indiana Chapter of the Chron's and Colitis Foundation of America today. Thankfully, they are more than happy to accept my monetary donations and help me educate folks about these diseases. You know, I don't even know if that's the proper term but I think you get my gist.

I'm very happy that they are pleased that I want to do something for their organization. I know that sounds odd, but if you don't ride a motorcycle, you probably don't realize what kind of stereotypes we have to deal with.

There's a special fundraiser in March in Fort Wayne, and I think I'll plan to attend that to learn more about the people in the CCFA as well as those who suffer. Maybe I'll learn something (maybe? ha! it's certain I will) and maybe I can convince more folks to sign up for my blog and follow my trip. But most importantly, I can figure out the best ways to generate donations from people willingly.

Of course, I could always just glower at people stopped at traffic lights and scare them into giving. Wouldn't that be the stereotypical 'biker' way? HA!

Riding Flashbacks, volume 1

Countdown - 178 days

I thought it might be interesting to share with you one of my more favorite riding flashbacks. Just a few 'out-loud' memories of a ride that sticks with me.

Not sure of the exact date, but Jannette and I took a trip from Fort Wayne to Mackinaw City, Michigan. I don't remember the exact number of days, but if I recall correctly, we were only in Mackinaw City for a day or two.

In any case, let me set the stage. An old friend was getting married on Saturday night in Sturgis, Michigan, which is about 90 minutes from our house. So we figured we'd just go to the wedding, make an early night of it, get some shut eye and head out from the hotel in Coldwater, Michigan *really* early Sunday morning. We didn't exactly dress up for the wedding since were only had the motorcycles on which to pack our stuff. But we were able to enjoy ourselves and wish the happy couple well. As planned, we snuck out a bit early and hit the sack before 11pm.

We got up around 5 am, loaded the gear up on the bikes and headed for the 'top of the mitten'. It was probably a June or July and the weather was beautiful. We got about 15 miles down the road and began to see plenty of Bambi activity along the side of I-69. In fact, at one point I did a double take as I saw at least a half dozen deer in the median. I realized how happy I was that I wasn't around when they were trying to get from the side of the road to the middle. Or when they decided to move again. But they seemed content to just stare and munch on grass.

I don't think Jannette saw the first or second group of deer as we headed out, but she was thoroughly enjoying the ride on her Yamaha 650. At our first fuel stop, I remember her saying something about how she felt really good and was hyped about the rest of the trip - even though we'd gone about 100 miles from Coldwater and we still had another 200 or so to go.

It was really a special time to be sharing the beautiful Michigan countryside with each other, during relatively light traffic on a really nice day. But we also knew we had to hustle. We were supposed to meet up with a whole bunch of our regular riding pals in Mackinaw City by noon. Keep in mind that without stopping and going the legal limit, it would take us about 5 hours to get there. We were pushing things by trying to leave as 'late' as 6am, and we would pay for that.

Those never-ending green pines get boring over time and by 9:30am or so we were ready to already be done. But you can't just snap your fingers and be there. However, if you are riding an 1100 cc V-twin with lots of power, you can er, gently bend the speed limit rule. Even though I believe the limit was 70mph, I was trying to maintain a speed just slightly higher in the upper 80's.

For some strange reason, Jannette kept falling back worse and worse the longer we rode. I would ease up and wait for her to get caught up. Finally, at a rest stop, I asked what the problem was. She didn't seem upset at the distance between us, but she was wondering why I was in such a hurry (hello? we gotta be at a hotel we've never been to by noon, sharp).

I asked her in my gentlest, kindest, most sincere and sensitive voice, "Can you pick it up a bit or do I have to stick my boot in your ass?" Which, as you can imagine, was met with just the same emotional sincerity, and the response of, "Listen here &^!*, that bike sounds like it's full of angry, high-pitched bees, so gimme me a break, assh**e." Or as I remember it more accurately, "My dear and handsome lover, I do believe that you are correct, and I will do my best to adjust my behaviour and speed up." I guess I had forgotten that you can't really push a Yamaha 650 Classic up to 88mph and maintain it for a couple hours solid. I think her hearing was shot for awhile because of the high-pitched whine.

So I slowed things up, asked her to lead the way so I could just match her comfort speed. We got through the various tourist trap exits and got to Mackinaw City around 12:30, only a half hour behind schedule, but a bit worn down.

We quickly learned that, while we were all set up for early check-in and our room was delightful, the rest of our group had already left a few hours earlier (glad they waited for us!) and we decided to meet up with them as they returned from Sault Saint Marie, on their way to Whitefish Bay. Or something like that. So, now we had another deadline, which was to get to a certain point in the upper peninsula - where neither of us had been before - and the Mackinac Bridge to cross. This was no small undertaking.

We had learned that the bridge, known affectionately by many as "Big Mac", had one lane in each direction that was really metal grating, and NOT pavement. Perhaps you don't know, but driving on that metal grating on a motorcycle is insane. You slide all over the place and it's like trying to drive on ice. No worries though, after all, the OTHER lane is paved and 'normal' right? Right. Sort of.

Once we had already gotten on to the bridge and were about to be over the water, we saw the unmistakable flashing lights and signs of a construction zone. Yep, they were painting the bridge, so they were reducing the traffic down to one lane. Guess which one would remain open? Yep, the metal grated one. More big fun for Jannette.

But she did a great job, never looked down through the grating to the water once, and before we knew it, we were on the other side. And paying the exorbitant fee for crossing the bridge. Motorcycles - those are much lighter two-wheeled vehicles carrying no more than two passengers- pay the same rate as bloated, gas-guzzling, multi-passengered automobiles. Talk about stupid. And while were talking stupid, who in the hell puts the toll booth AFTER you cross the bridge? What dumbass came up with that? What do you do about folks who cross and 'forget' to bring their toll money? Make them go back across and get it? Make them swim back? Ship them off to Canada as a punishment? (it's really not that far away, eh?)

Anyway, we eventually met up with our riding buddies, had a terrific, long day of riding and sightseeing and eventually ended up at an old abandoned WWII airport, with three runways/airstrips arranged in a triangle. It was now being used (unofficially and illegally) as a drag strip, mainly for souped up cars. But we figured motorcycles could play that game too.

So we all got a chance to pretend we were Don Garlits or Shirley Muldowney (look them up). I never came close to beating anyone but I am consistently in a higher weight class than most of those skinny boys. Much fun. Even Jannette and our friend Lorraine had a duel on the drag strip, but amazingly it was a slow speed duel, and I don't think either pushed it much past 35 mph. It was worth a big laugh though!

It was getting dark, and we were still quite a way from our hotel room. We headed back south to the bridge to return to the hotel, and the winds had picked up considerably. That meant big delays at the bridge itself as the big trucks and the itty bitty motorcycles had to be escorted across the bridge by an escort vehicle. Required. No options. Of course, it's not like you get a choice: you've already paid that exorbitant bridge toll again, and unless your bike is fast enough to skip across the water, you'll be doing what they ask/demand. Of course, we had to wait for their schedule -not ours- and we quickly realized that this was cutting into our drinking time for the evening. And everybody was in the mood for a tall cool one after a terrific day of riding.

So, after meeting and getting to know some other folks who were in line waiting (we can't seem to help ourselves from just randomly finding people to talk to), and plenty of time for the smokers to get their fix, we got started up the bridge. Within seconds, Nigel developed some sort of engine issue and pulled off to the side. He motioned for us to keep going and he'd get things started as soon as possible. We don't listen well. So we all pulled off to the curb side one by one and began the game of telephone (that's yelling over the road noise, traffic, wind noise and such, trying to find out what was happening and what we should do).

Suddenly, Nigel roars past us yelling "I think I'm out of gas!" and heading to the top of the bridge. Apparently he had gotten enough fuel shook around to get the engine fired up again and was racing to the top so he could coast down the other side, if necessary.

It was necessary.

We surrounded and convoyed Nigel to the bottom of the bridge to protect his coasting, non-running bike as we saw the service station sign just up the road about 500 feet. We got him pushed up to the pump and figured all was well.

At least we didn't have to stop at a toll booth AFTER coasting down the bridge.

Long story was that Nigel wasn't really completely out of fuel, but had a fuel pump that was starting to fail, although the short trip from gas station to hotel was less than a half mile so he didn't have any further issue that night. The next day was a whole nuther story, but that's Nigel's story to tell, not mine.

By the time we returned to the hotel in Mackinaw City, we were worn out and beat up. Which is how every good riding day should end.

Six Things I Gotta See On This Trip

Countdown - 179 days

I'm excited about the trip for a few thousand reasons. But there are a half dozen reasons that will make this trip even more memorable. As I look forward to my route and to what I'll see along the way, there are at least six things that I feel like I must experience.

Let's take a look at them and hope that I don't jinx things just by bringing them up.

1. Mississippi River in Grand Forks, North Dakota - Something about the mighty Mississip winding it's way through this little town seems so interesting. Plus, when I worked at Knight Ridder, this was one of the places that -unfortunately- met with disaster of the natural kind. It seems that the town of Grand Forks flooded, and then the newspaper building caught fire and burned to the ground. Okay, so it's not exactly a happy reason.

2. Stonehenge (not the real one, but the one in...) Montana - I've never seen the real Stonehenge, but I've been to "Foamhenge" in Natural Bridge, Virginia. I think I owe it to myself to see this replica in rural Montana. Come to think of it, is there really something OTHER than 'rural Montana'?

3. Downtown Spokane, Washington - Why does this city intrigue me so much? I have no freakin' idea. I've read a bit about it, searched through various web pages about it, both official and unofficial. Maybe it's the fact that there seem to be whitewater rapids running right through the middle of downtown. I don't know what the allure is, but I'll let you know when I've found it.

4. Glacier National Park, Montana - I've seen nothing but amazing pictures about this place. My buddy Myles lives a couple of hours from there and has said nothing but amazing things about this place. I can't wait to experience the Going To The Sun Road, traveling from east to west. Don't worry about it, I'll get pictures.

5. Lionsgate Bridge, Vanouver British Columbia - This is my own personal landmark that will let me know I've hit my westernmost goal. Take a look at any pictures online about this mighty bridge and you'll see how beautiful it is.

6. Getting Hyderized in Hyder, Alaska - This just sounds like a blast. Something like a pure grain alcohol shot to celebrate the fact that you've made it to Alaska! I can't wait!

Movies NOT to watch

Countdown - 180 days
I considered what movies I probably shouldn't watch prior to taking this trip. Let's see if you can figure out why just by reading the movie titles and remembering what they were all about.

There's really no particular order, but I'll save the one that bothers me most for last...

10. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
9. Airplane
8. Borat
7. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
6. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
5. Road Trip
4. Easy Rider
3. North By Northwest
2. Planes, Trains & Automobiles
1. Deliverance

I won't be intentionally seeing these anytime soon.
Thought that might lighten the mood a little.

Four most essential bring-a-longs

Countdown -181 days

If you had to narrow it down to just four most essential things needed for a trip such as this, what you think was most important?



Yeah, me too.



Somethings are obvious, but let's see if my list and your list match. And certainly if you an idea that really should be on my list and isn't, please lemme know.








1. Road Atlas


Clearly a GPS is far more convenient and useful, but let's stick to basics. You are in unfamiliar territory, moving (hopefully) at a rapid rate of speed, and constantly being tempted by the scenery and surroundings. The last thing you want to discover is that you've gone 50 miles in the wrong direction and now need to back-track to get back on course. Short of a GPS, a co-pilot (and we are all well aware of how much a wife knows about navigation and how little men know about the same) or a photographic memory....bring a road map. Heck, even most state-sponsored rest areas give away official maps for free these days. Otherwise plunk down $20 and get a Rand McNally. You really want to be without one when you roll up on that big orange "Detour" sign in remote Idaho with no clue where you are?



2. Cell Phone



You won't need to chat with your buddies, or check in with the spouse or the kids. But you will really want to have access to help in an emergency. You'll need it to get 911 help or if you need to just make sure your hotel reservation is still being honored while you wait out a storm under some overpass for a few hours. Let's face it, cell phones have changed our lives completely in the past 10 years or so. We all know people who will turn around and go back home to retrieve a cell phone even if they are just going to the grocery store. We also know people who seem to have their phones permanently attached to their faces. If you consider yourself even close to being 'wired' all the time, I can't imagine you planning to take a trip like this without a cell phone.




3. Money


Duh. But what I'm talking about is cash. Good ol' American greenbacks. Yes, you may use just a debit card for all your purchases now, but if you pull up to the ONLY gas station in Red Deer, Alberta at 9:30 at night, and the sign at Clem's Kwik Gas N Go says "Cash Only" you'll be happy you brought some along. And yes, American money spends well all over the world. Yes, you should use local currency (in this case, Canadien), but in the absence of that, A couple of Hamiltons, Lincolns, Jacksons, and maybe a Grant or two will work out fine for you.





4. Tool Kit



Another "duh" moment, but let me try to explain this one a little. I'm an over preparer (who'da thunk it? I starting planning this trip more than a year ago. I tend to over do it.) So when it came to assembling an emergency tool kit, I have to keep my wits. I can't take everything. For example, my motorcycle tires are tubeless. That means if I have a flat, I just need to plug it and go. I DON'T need to bring along tire tools to remove the tire from the wheel. If I was making this trip across vast expanses of gravel or dirt, I probably would bring along a spare tire, just in case. So that might work for you, but not for me. In the case of total tire failure (blowout, sidewall damage, etc.), my cell phone will be the best tool I can bring along. But short of those major issues, really all you'll likely need will be various sized screwdrivers, a ratchet & socket set, some general purpose wrenches and a pair of pliers. But don't forget about a handy all-purpose tool and perhaps a knife or wire stripper and some electrical tape. For whatever reason, I tend to have electrical issues, so I prepare for those the most often. Realistically, a standard portable tool kit found in any motorcycle supply catalog will do you well. Just be sure to add a spark plug wrench. Sucks to be stuck on the side of the road with everything you need *except* a way to get the damned spark plug off in order to replace it. Yeah, and a flashlight. My favorite is one of those lights that is powered by shaking the whole unit for a few minutes. All that shaking also lets you get a mini-workout and dispels some of that nervous energy and adrenaline rush you get when you discover there's a problem and it's all up to you to diagnose and correct. With no one else around. In the Dark.

During. Bear. Season.

Top 5 things to worry about on a long, solo trip

Countdown- 182 days

As I continue to prepare for this trip, a number of things have popped up to keep me awake at night. Let me share the top five with you now, and perhaps just writing them out will be a bit of therapy for me!

1. Mechanical breakdown
Obviously, a major breakdown will surely change the plan for this trip. With a limited number of days at my disposal, anything major happening mechanically will set my back by a number of days. There's not a lot anyone can do about this because of the vast array of potential problems that could happen. Major engine failure, damage to critical components through accidents or road debris, or a situation that makes the bike no longer completely safe to operate will all have a corresponding effect on the daily itinerary. About the only thing you can do is fully prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

2. Weather
Again, not anything that you will have control over, but you can make adjustments to the route or schedule as the forecast allows. For example, very rainy conditions and weather patterns may change the number of miles ridden on certain days or the route itself. You can always 'drive around' major rainy spots, if they are contained enough or moving quickly enough to circumvent them. The best solution is preparation. Rain gear, cold weather gear and proper hydration during hot weather will be essential.

3. Illness or injury
Now this is something I do have control over. Keeping myself in top physical shape prior to the trip, and maintaining a proper diet during the trip, along with being dressed appropriately will help me stay healthy. Injuries, well those are a different story. I tend to be a bit of a klutz at times and have even cut myself on that hard plastic packaging that items tend to be packed with these days. As long as I am careful, and don't try anything stupid with a sharp instrument in my hands, I should be fine.

4. Mental alertness
There are a slew of jokes that my dear reader could make already about my mental capacity, or mental capability. Insert yours as a comment and we'll call it even. But seriously, traveling alone will give me more than enough time to 'think' about a few million things. All that thinking, without having someone along to keep me focused on the current situation present a unique problem. I already think too much, and over think most problems. I won't have that solid, guiding influence along so it'll be up to me to focus. I have a habit of passing the time and/or miles by making up stupid lyrics to established songs, figuring out how many more miles I have to go before stopping for a break, or how many cars of a certain color I'll see before the next break all tend to keep my brain functioning, but just not functioning appropriately.

5. Being a target
As uncomfortable as it is to say out loud, some people just don't like motorcycles and/or motorcyclists. Other people, who aren't as upstanding citizens as the rest of us, see opportunities when they see folks who are traveling alone. I'm not generalizing or supporting any stereotypes of the people whose communities I'll be traveling through. The fact is, it doesn't matter where I am, these concerns are the same. What can be done? Some very basic tips will come in handy: don't flash cash, don't share details with unknown people about your business, watch your back, keep an eye on your stuff, and most of all, just be smart. Since alcohol has a definite impact on your ability to stay sharp, anything more than a single beer is just not smart. The best idea is to save the alcohol until the end of the trip, then you have time, inclination and more reason to celebrate.

Trust me, there are lots of other things that I worry about, but these are the top 5 that anyone should worry about in preparation or during the progress of a long solo bike trip.

New Year, New info, Same trip!

Happy 2010! It felt like it would never get here, notably since that was the year that I set for this monumental motorcycle trip. Yet, it's finally here.

I won't bore you with all my resolutions, but as far as this trip goes, I've resolved to be far more frequent with the updates. I almost have to if I'm going to get any publicity generated.

So far, things have been a little up and down with this trip. The biggest downer is that it appears that Matt won't be going. I won't go into all the reasons why, but I can say this: I will hold out hope that up until about 6am on Saturday, July 3, Matt will have the ability to change his mind. Actually, he can change his mind past that date and time, but he'll have to catch up to me, since I'll have already started.

So....I'm doing my planning as if I'm going alone. Of course, I'll never actually be alone. I'll have you, dear reader, along with me. Just to remind you, the whole point about this blog is that you'll be able to live vicariously through me, see the things I'm seeing, and experience the road as I'm experiencing it. Some of it will be in real time, (quick blog updates via mobile) and some of it will be at the end of each day's riding. You can have dinner with me as I log the latest details of the day.

So you'll see much more frequent, much more 'magazine-style' updates (quick and catchy) and hopefully interesting content. Remember, you can control this. If you have ideas or questions, then be sure to feedback or comment and I'll be most happy to respond.