Rose Colored Glasses

Sometimes I'm glad my dad and step-mom loved country music a bunch. Most times, I don't. But those times.... For example, way back when (seems like it was before 1979 but I can't find an older trace) John Conlee had a hit country song with "Rose Colored Glasses". I had no idea what that phrase meant. Because of that song, I learned a phrase that I've used countless times. (If you don't know the meaning, I won't spoil it for you. Before you read on, visit this link). While I always thought I was tortured as a child by having to listen to country music, I'm finding that I learned a bunch from those rednecks and hillbillies. Charlie Pride. Charlie Rich. John Conlee. Johnny Paycheck. I also learned what happens when you play a country song backwards: you get your wife back, you get your dog back, your truck back, your mother-in-law back, etc.

Recently, my buddy Myles read through my blog, and caught an entry a few down from here, about him. Myles then used the phrase in an email to me, saying that I must have rose colored glasses about our times in the Army together, because he remembers things differently. He remembers us all being a lot more stupid than I confessed in the blog piece. He doesn't remember being quite as suave with the ladies as I remembered. He doesn't remember his being more 'mature' than the rest of us poor pitiful, young man-boy fools.

It got me to thinking. Do I have a tendency to look back and over glorify things? I mean, it's probably natural to do, isn't it? We all remember our grandparents yearning for the 'old days' when life was easy, crime barely existed, people were so polite, yadda yadda yadda. But weren't they the same folks who also talked about how tough they had it? You remember, they had to walk uphill to school, 5 miles, each way and only one pair of shoes for all the kids to share. And on and on. I caught you rolling your eyes after reading that, just like you did every time they started in on one of those stories!

Indeed, I think Myles is somewhat right. I DO have rose colored glasses about my past. I think it has to do with the fact that I want so badly to be optimistic. I want to always be that 'glass half-full' guy. Not exactly Pollyanna, but I don't wanna be Oscar the Grouch or Eeyore, either. I've been accused from time to time with being pessimistic (we pessimists always counter with "I'm not pessimistic, I'm being realistic!"). I had a great mentor at Fort Wayne Newspapers, Dennis Robinson, who is the poster child for optimism. He is a realist. I so wish I could have that child-like sense of optimism that Dennis always seemed to retain, even in the darkest hours of a project clearly gone off track with disastrous news. For example, when we realized that our Spanish-language publication just wasn't going to be successful, a publication that Dennis 'birthed' because it was truly ahead of its time, he couldn't bring himself to say it was a failure. He could only say, "gosh, it sure reached a bunch of people who appreciated it, didn't it?" I mean, here was a publication that was losing money on every issue, before we even sent off portions to the translators, knowing full well that we didn't have nearly enough advertising revenue to cover the costs, and he was still finding the silver lining. Some folks would call that stupidity. They might say he didn't see the forest for the trees. They might say he just didn't know when to give up. I think it was brilliant. And for the record, Dennis was quite keen on 'when to say when'. The man is still a genius in my book and always will be.

And I think it's because of my yearning to be a positive voice in the wind that I have a tendency to look back and perhaps glorify, or at the very least, sugar-coat the events in my life that brought me a great amount of joy. The birth of my children (including the son that was born while I was on a payphone in O'Hare airport, listening in); my days 'growing up' in the Army; my times spent with high school friends like John Goodwin, who let me get him in SO much trouble, yet still hung out with me after his groundings were over; and just about everyday I spend with my beautiful wife, Jannette. I'm sure there are unpleasant things that have happened between us, arguments, mean, nasty things said back and forth, and such. I just can't seem to bring anything to mind at the moment.

In fact, when I look back at my "life", I have a hard time finding the cloud without the silver lining. I was 'detained' once by the police (okay, more than once), for committing a really, really stupid act while in Army training (after hours). And actually, I was standing next to a guy who was doing all the 'committing' while I kept (an obviously poor) lookout. Didn't matter, we were both picked up. In hindsight, I remember more about the kindness of my Army classmates, my acting company commander, my First Sergeant, and a judge. The judge (and probably many of the other authority figures) spent a few minutes quietly sizing me up. I remember him staring at me for what seemed like an eternity. He asked a few really bizarre (at the time) questions. He asked what I thought my penalty should be. He was sitting there in judgement (duh) and deciding whether or not I was a "good person" and whether or not I should get the book thrown at me or get a break. Thankfully, I got the break.

Even instances like that seem to come back as positive things in my life, not negative ones. My glasses are not just tinted with rose coloring, they are rose shaded, through and through.

I was once in a motorcycle accident in Alabama in 1982. I fell asleep while driving from Pensacola, Florida back to Detroit. I was up all night partying with my sister, Jodi, and her friends, and they were wishing me well as I headed off to join the Army. Jodi even gave me some things to take back to Detroit and sell for money. Or simply to enjoy for myself if I wanted. Anyway, I was carrying these things inside my jacket when I fell asleep and sideswiped a car on the Interstate. Nothing major, I didn't go down, nor get hurt in any way. In fact, the car got most of the damage as my footpeg created a new opening in the driver's side door. In retrospect, all I can think about was how lucky I was to: A.) hit a car at highway speeds and still park the bike in the median while I walked away and checked on the other folks, 2.) Somehow not get a ticket from the State Police, even though I was clearly a yankee, with long hair and really, really, really, bloodshot eyes, and C.) Not get busted for ...well, anything. In fact, I made it all the way back to Detroit from Pensacola, Florida in about 21 hours (including accident time) on about 4 hours sleep the night before. And my biggest recollection? Boy was I lucky to have made that trip! I got to see my sister one last time before leaving for the Army!

And what about all these incidents that probably should be big huge warnings to people (like my children) to NEVER do the things I did? It probably sounds reckless to even mention them in print. I mean, someone will look at these entries and say, "gosh, I dunno. He kinda hints around at the fact that he was kind of a bad boy as a teenager". DUH! My point is that I was - in fact - not the kind of kid that was on a path to MIT or Dental School (sorry Mom!). But I did turn my life around (thank you Sgt. Carnell Snow and the US Army!), actually graduated from High School with honors, went to college, graduated from that with a dual major, got a decent enough job, and a career where at least a few folks respect me (or tell me that they do). And best of all, I am raising two wonderful children, who are turning out to be far better kids than I ever was. And for a father figure example, I didn't have much to go on. I had plenty of "surely you don't wanna do it this way" examples.

Yeah, rose colored glasses. I got 'em. I hope to always have them. I hope I can get rose-colored implants in my eyes some day (or Lasik, which ever is physically possible at the time). I don't make any apologies for it. But if you read something that sounds a little too good to be true. It's still probably true, but maybe the high points have a little rose dusting on them. Don't mind that, and don't try to blow it off of there. Just recognize it for what it is, and understand it. Please?