Open Letter to North Dakota

Dear North Dakota -
How nice it was to leave your border this morning. You decided to 'christen' me once again with more of your liquid sunshine. Gee, thanks. Maybe you needed something to break up the monotony of ....nothing.

Funny how it stopped raining just shy of the Montana border. Ha ha. REAL funny. Yuk it up, ND - your turn is coming.

There's really not much from Fargo to Beach. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo.

Well, I'll give some credit. There's the Little Missouri National Grassland, which contains some of the most rugged, uninhabitable land I've seen. Beautiful, yes. Useful? Not really.

Who negotiated your borders? That guy was either drunk on the take. When Minnesota saw their land starting to flatten out and get boring, they decided to let you take it from there. Montana must have said, "We'll go ahead and take everything after that Grassland area. You guys can have that river and the rugged rocky stuff." Who approved that deal, Stevie Wonder?

By the way, I wanted to send you condolences on the loss of your (apparently) one and only law enforcement officer. No he didn't pass away or anything, he apparently went to work in Wisconsin. I mean, I saw tons of Wisconsin cops out on a busy holiday weekend, but I spent two different holiday weekend days in your borders and nary saw a single police officer. Not even a Bismarck city cop. Not even a state trooper! What kind of 'increased patrolling and increased presence is that?

I'm not complaining, really. I just think it's odd that apparently not one single law enforcement officer was on any stretch of road I was one (and I-94 West is one LONG stretch of road!)

And one more thing - I like how you have exits every so often that say things like "Exit 234 - no services". Gee, that's stimulating. Sure enough, when you get off that exit. There's nothing there.

Of course, that's your claim to fame, isn't it? Nothing.

I'll be back in about a week, North Dakota. Let's see how your north border fares under the scrutiny of King Gordo!